


Drama Queen

by catteo



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 04:39:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catteo/pseuds/catteo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is total crack. Clearly I have no shame. Damon just likes things to be neat and tidy, okay?</p>
<p> Written for the prompt 'A day in the life of a tidy vampire'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drama Queen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aerintine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerintine/gifts).



Damon’s been furious for weeks.

+++

In reality he was mad for about 20 minutes. And, _technically_ , it was 3 weeks ago. But that’s really not particularly dramatic. And so.

Weeks.

Furious.

All sarcastic comments and wide-eyed challenges. Caroline called him unbearable. Punched him in the face. Man, vampire Barbie has a great right hook.

But no, he’s getting distracted.

+++

He wasted absolutely no time in telling Stefan. Who grinned at him wolfishly and called him a house-proud drama queen.

Whatever.

Stefan’s room is a total pigsty. All those stupid diaries in messy piles all over the place, so what the hell would he know about anything.

Damon staked him in the shoulder for good measure. Just to prove how mad he was.

+++

Rebekah told him he deserved it after what he and Elena did to her. A perfectly decent prom dress, ruined. No chance of finding matching satin to fix the hole, thank you very much.

He thinks that maybe they’re going to be friends.

Once she stops hating them all.

It _was_ 6 years ago, but since they only took the dagger out 2 months ago, she’s still pretty cross.

Damon’s kind of annoyed that she’s doing a better job of being irate than he is.

+++

Elena just laughed.

Then she slapped him.

She _was_ sitting on Stefan’s lap at the time, so potentially the blood from the shoulder wound was what set her off.

Who cares.

It was worth throwing the decent crystal at the fireplace. The flouncing was kind of fun too, if he’s honest.

At least he remembered to finish his whiskey.

+++

Jots on his ‘To Do’ list.

_Buy more crystal tumblers._

_And whiskey._

~~_Maybe a prom dress._ ~~

+++

Alaric understands. Claps him on the back in sympathy and helps roll up the rug. Agrees that the drycleaner will have a hell of a job getting those stains out.

He understands history, does Alaric.

That rug was fucking priceless.

+++

So.

3 weeks ago.

Katherine tackles him to the ground. All teeth and tongue and broken furniture. It wasn’t until he was congratulating her on a hell of a homecoming that he noticed the rug.

3 bottles of expensive red wine shattered in the centre. A bloody red stain covering one of his most prized possessions.

He threw Katherine across the room.

He keeps telling her to keep it in their bedroom. 5 years on, and she still doesn’t get it. He’s not her maid, for crying out loud.

Although there is that game they play...

+++

Damon yanks his thoughts back to the present. He’s trying to be furious.

The façade slipped a bit last night when he told her he loved her.

She probably wasn’t listening anyway. Usually says it back. Last night she just tied him up tighter.

He smirks at the memory.

+++

Their front door crashes open.

Theirs.

His and Katherine’s. It took him 150 years, but he got her in the end.

And sure enough, it’s her. Love of his, not inconsiderably long, life.

With another man.

Who appears to be a priest.

Which is just not how they roll these days.

+++

_“I thought we’d agreed, no more ministers.”_

_“Relax, Damon, he’s Catholic. Besides, he’s not here for dinner. You and me? We’re getting married.”_

+++

The priest’s eye twitches as they seal their vows with fangs and bloody lips.

Her compulsion isn’t as effective, but Katherine looks great on her low-fat rabbit diet. Damon’s suddenly not furious anymore.

Persian rugs are so 2000 years ago. Wood’s much easier to clean.

+++


End file.
